Still longing...

It's been almost a month since my Dad passed away, and everyday, I remember him. I felt so much sadness today as I was singing at church. I miss him, terribly. Whenever I think of the fact that I will never able to share my music with him, or talk to him, or hold him ever again, I feel very overwhelmed, and emotional. I think of him when I cook, and I realize that he'll never get to taste the food that I so passionately prepare for my family. I think of him when I am working, and I know that he'll never get to hear my stories of frustration, or of success. I think of him when I am taking care of my children, and I know that he will never get to spend time with them, or witness their craziness. I think of him when I am driving, and I know he will never get to listen to my adventures on the road. I think of him before I go to bed, and I know that I won't be able to say "good night" and "see you in the morning" ever again.

My friend, Icar, who lost her Mom a few years ago warned me about this. I skyped with her after received the news about my Dad, and she said that it will be a roller coaster ride from here on. She said that some days it will just hit you, and some days you'll be just fine. And she was right - it's been rough emotionally, and it is hard to move on and resume daily tasks as if nothing happened.

As Tim and I are preparing for our upcoming move to Manila, I can't help but think of my Dad. He would have loved to have us closer to him- after 8 years of living overseas. He would have loved beach trips, Sunday inihaw dinners, and having me sing next to him by the piano.

I miss you Daddy. I know you are in a better place. I know you are home. This song is for you.